Some Radical Ideas

Ever since it was announced that Godzilla's buddies Mothra, Rodan, and King Gidorah were set to appear in the franchise, these boards have been perpetually abuzz about other possibilities. Not just crossovers, but spinoffs and solo flicks as well. I mean who knows, the expanded cinematic universe may be the next big thing in Hollywood (why limit it to just comic book movies?). So anyway I'm here to just ramble on about what are probably the more ludicrous routes Legendary could take since they are fast becoming the "giant monster people".

1. King Kong vs. Frankenstein- Believe it or not this was an actual idea developed by William O'Brien after King Kong was released. The film would have featured the King of the Apes facing off against a monstrous beast created by Dr. Frankenstein's grandson (since the good doctor died with his creation). Now obviously this raise the question: how would Kong do so since he kinda died at the end of his own story. Well this is the type of situation where you need to be creative. Perhaps Kong is brought back to life by the mad scientist. But he proves less thn compliant, as Kong remains the wild and savage beast he always was (besides, only Ann Darrow was ever able to tame the colossal ape). So then Frankenstein goes on to create a giant abomination, perhaps using a little bit of left over's from Kong. This new creature, more loyal to the doc, goes on a rampage (for reasons I don't yet know) at his master's whim. The army proves ineffective against the creature. It is realized only Kong has the strength to take on the monstrosity. They have their climatic battle in San Francisco, as per O'Brien original idea. Kong finishes his foe by tearing out his still beating heart. The film end with some shadowy figures sneaking off with a crate containing the heart.

2. Frankenstein Conquers the World- This one actually got made. Toho got a hold of the story and had planned for it to be Godzilla vs. Frankenstein. But somewhere down the road that didn't happen, with King Kong taking his place. Frankenstein would eventually get the Toho treatment in the movie Frankenstein Conquers the World. For those not in the know, it begins with the bombing of Heroshima. There, Axis scientists are working on the immortal heart of Frankenstein when the bomb is dropped. The nuclear radiation causes the heart to regenerate a new body, which eventually grows into a towering, rampaging monster. It's you're standard fun b-movie fare. Maybe just make him bigger to better take on Godzilla.

3. Godzilla vs. Frankenstein- Maybe desperate scientists revive Frankenstein in the latest attempt to repel Godzilla. The two hash it like Godzilla vs. King Kong. Except here it actually makes sense for Godzilla's opponent to draw strength from electricity. It would finally be the movie Toho had intended.

4. War of the Gargantuas- Again for those not in the know, this movie was actually a sequel to Frankenstein Conquers the World. What happened was two pieces of Frankenstein became separated and went different ways. One ended up in the ocean where it adapt to life in the sea (called Gaira). The other was found by scientists and because a little more like a yeti (called Sanda). Eventually a fully grown Gaira appears from the sea and starts attacking ships and seaside towns. Sanda shows up to his aid when the army attempts to drive it away. However when Sanda finds out his "brother" has been eating people, he becomes enraged (since Sanda was raised by humans). The two duke it out in the standard monster movie fasion. Like it's predecessor it's a fun romp. And if by some infinitely improbable chance this ever got remade (like everything on this list), just make them bigger to better compare to the truly titanic creatures born by Legendary.

5. Godzilla vs. King Kong- not going to happen. There's no reason for it. Not only are there HUGE size and ability discrepancies, pitting these two against each other doesn't work because they represent different things. Godzilla is meant to be a force of nature, an unstoppable force of destruction who symbolizes the horrors unleashed by nuclear weapons. King Kong is meant to be a tragic figure, representing mans unfailing ability to fear and destroy what he doesn't understand; that, as well as what happens when you try to take a wild animal out of the wild. Godzilla is a sci-fi monster through and through, whereas Kong is meant to be more realistic (simply a giant ape). This is just one match up that is best left to inane internet forums.

6. Zilla- Look, if you don't like Zilla, fine, but I've grown a little weary of the constant vitriol spewed by the fanboys. It was a decent design that simply needs a little tweeking. I'm not defending the movie; that was pretty terrible. But the monster really shined in the animated series and that's where we should start (as a side, I think Zilla is the Halloween 3: Season of the Witch of movie monsters. It could have been its own wonderful thing, but since it simply the same name as the "real" thing, fans boys through a huge temper tantrum and we never got to see where they could have gone. Well in the case of Halloween, we ended up with a string of subpar sequels, including one where Michael Myers had to share the screen with Bust freaking Rhymes!). Why not? Re-imaginings and retcons seem to be all the rage these days.

I imagine Zilla's stand alone like this. In the fifties, the army lures Godzilla to Bikini Atoll in an attempt to nuke the bastard dead. It fails. The radioactive fallout mutates an iguana on a nearby island. A while back I speculated about the possibility of convergent evolution (a phenomenon in nature where two different, unrealated organisms separated by time and space evolve similar traits to fill similar ecological roles. One of the greatest examples: Thylacosmilus. It looks just like a sabertooth cat, except it wasn't a cat. It was a marsupial!) working through radioactive mutation. As a result, the iguana takes on Godzilla-like traits (huge size, spikes along the back, radiation-based blast). It lays low in the south pacific as it grows. It briefly ttacks large industrial fishing vessels for food. But then it disappears. In the 1980s commercial fisherman begin reporting sightings of a "giant sea monster" in the Gulf of Alaska.

Monarch is sent to investigate. The sea monster turns out to be Zilla who has migrated north. What drew it here? Remember in Godzilla when the monarch scientists explained how many of the radioactive organisms retreated to the deep sea to be closer to the radiation of the planet's core? Well in the deep waters of the Gulf of Alaska, there is a community of giant sea creatures from the "Radioactive Era" clinging to existence among the submarine canyons and sea mounts (who's up for a 100 foot trilobite? Perhaps the utter weirdos of the Burgess Shale Fauna could provide inspiration). Zilla has established himself as a top predator here, feeding on the numerous giant invertebrate and fish-like creatures. Monarch begins a program to study this new creature and the strange environment he now hunts. Zilla comes to the gulf to feed, but in between hunting trips spends extended periods of time resting in his lair in the Aleutian Islands.

But in modern times, something else emerges. A trail of missing ships leading north resembling Zilla's pops up. Is it another one of Zilla's kind? When the creature surfaces in the gulf, it is revealed to be a giant lobster. It is Ebirah, the Horror of the Deep. Except this none is more fitting of the title. Rather than just a giant lobster, this incarnation of Ebirah is a malevolent juggernaut. Zilla represents a successful mutation. Ebirah is the opposite. The radiation initially stunted his growth; the reason it hasn't appeared until now is because it only recently reached maturity. It's carapace is covered with gnarled spines, open sores constantly oozing, a general lack of overall symmetry, and maybe even a little cancerous. Unlike Zilla, who exhibits a normal metabolism (for something his size anyway) Ebirah is ravenous, constantly on the hunt for food. After exhausting his food sources in the south pacific, Ebirah has come to the rich ecosystem in the gulf.

Just like his "father", Zilla aint too fond of competition. They Zilla harasses Ebirah until they makes landfall in Anchorage. This is little more than a skirmish as Ebirah's hardened carapace is not only impervious to conventional weaponry by is quite resilient to Zilla's initial attacks. The mutant lobster decides to head for "richer feeding grounds" and starts heading south towards the major population centers. Zilla follows and engages Ebirah in the waters offf Vancouver island. Ebirah gains the upper hand and seriously wounds Zilla. As Zilla staggers ashore and collapses, Ebirah is free to ravage Victoria and then Vancouver. Zilla is able to muster his strength and the two have their climatic battle on the streets of Seattle. Zilla is eventually able to defeat Ebirah, tearing off his large crushing claw. In a little homage to Godzilla vs the Sea Monster, Zilla picks up the claw and claps it at its former owner. Ebirah retreats to nurse his wounds beneath the sea.

Yeah, like that would ever happen. So much scorn has been heaped on Zilla that the very idea of him is radioactive. But i feel Zilla has the potential to be a great monster if people could just look past the 98 movie and accept that he is his own monster. Not just the fanboys but the studios as well (case in point: Godzilla's all too easy defeat of Zilla in final wars was nothing but calculated fan service). Rather than an "imposter", he could serve as a complement to Godzilla. Zilla's smaller size could mean he has to rely more on speed and cunning to overtake his foes; this contrasts with Godzilla, whose size and strength pretty much allows him to beef his way through anything. Zilla could rise as a protector of man and the earth, leaving Godzilla to be the morally ambiguous force of nature he was meant to be.

So yeah, an unrealistic vision. I don't know how all this could be worked into the established history of the new Godzilla franchise, as well as it's more realistic setting. But as someone who grew up on cheesy monster movies and still loves them, i'd love to see an expanded universe of giant creatures rampaging across the world. If you have read this far, thanks so much. I hope you got some kind of kick out of it.